Faith
by Arikae
Summary: Post-Trust Metric - Don has officially accepted Colby back on the team, but they didn't truly accept him. Colby was slowly losing hope for ever being truly apart of the team. Something drastic happens that changes everyone's attitude but is it too late?


**Author's note: Another post-Trust Metric (hehe...) So I wrote this story mainly to get my mind off another story I'm trying to write but got stuck on. Trust Metric stories seem to just write themselves. There's barely any thinking involved. I realised as I re-read it that it's actually a combination of all my other Trust Metric stories. There is a lot of anger in Colby in this story so he's probably very OOC, but I always put him back together in the end :D**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.**

 **Warnings: un-betaed.**

Colby Granger shivered as walked the rest of his way home from where his car broke down. It was his type of luck now days. Nothing seemed to go his way. It has been a week since he was officially back on the team, but he wasn't really back. They still didn't trust him. They listened to his leads and they followed them but there was no interaction otherwise. He endured the stares from the agents outside of his team and the disappointed in Don and Megan's eyes but he couldn't stand David looking at him like he was a stranger. For two years, he'd treated David like his best friend because he was his best friend. He trusted this man with his life and now, because of his assignment, all of it was thrown away like it was nothing but garbage. Colby knew there was no one else to blame but himself. It didn't mean it hurt any less though.

Colby laughed when it started pouring with warning. He looked up at the sky and pulled his black jacket around him. "I know I screwed up with the team but can't you give me a break?!" He screamed up at the sky before continuing his walk home.

Colby sighed in relief when he reached the door of his condo. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys, opening the door. As soon as he did, something hard swung at his head and everything went black.

* * *

Don walked into the office, ready for another day. He'd spoken to his dad and Charlie yesterday during dinner. They asked about Colby and didn't seem to like his short response. They didn't understand. They weren't officially a part of his team, so they didn't feel the betrayal the rest of the team felt after finding out Colby was only on the team to weed out a mole. It wasn't as bad as thinking he was a traitor to his country but it was still a betrayal. Don knew Colby was trying but he found it difficult to treat him the way he did before all of this was revealed.

It was close to 10am before anyone noticed Colby hadn't come in for work. Megan was the first to say something. "Anyone seen Colby today?" It had become a norm to ignore Colby when they were in the office that it had taken longer than usual to notice he wasn't at his desk.

David turned in his seat and frowned at the empty desk next to his. "It's not like him. Has he called in?" He checked his phone to see if Colby had left him a message. His movements were casual, but he was worried. As much as he didn't like Colby right now, it didn't mean he wanted something bad to happen to him.

Don picked up his phone, dialling Colby's cell. He didn't look happy when the call went straight to voicemail. "Nothing."

"Try the reception at his building." Megan suggested.

David got on the phone. Joseph, the man at the front desk knew him well enough to reveal information. "Hi, Joseph, it's David, Colby's partner."

"Agent Sinclair?" Joseph was surprised to hear from him, "I haven't seen you here in a while."

"Yeah…" David replied, uncomfortably. "Has Colby left his condo today?" He asked instead.

"Now that you mention it, no, he hasn't." Joseph sounded a little worried, "He came in last night, drenched."

"Drenched?" David turned to Don, frowning.

"Yeah, he wasn't having a great day. His car broke down about 5 miles away." Joseph told them. "Maybe he's having a sleep in today. Lord knows he needs it. It don't think he's slept in a week."

Suddenly, guilt crept up David. Colby couldn't sleep and he was sure he was a part of the reason why. "We're coming over." He raised his eyebrows at Don, who nodded. "Can I get the spare key from you?"

"Of course, Colby hasn't changed his instructions. You and Agent Eppes are still allowed unconditional access to his apartment." Again, the guilt rose. Colby still trusted them despite how he'd been treated.

"We'll be there soon." David hung up the phone.

Don already had his jacket and keys. David grabbed his and followed his boss out to the FBI garage. Megan looked at Liz who just shrugged, helplessly What could they do but wait?

* * *

Don glanced over at David on the drive to Colby's place. "What's going on, David?"

David sighed, "Joseph told me we still have unconditional access to Colby's condo. He never took our names off the list."

It was Don's turn to feel the guilt. Colby still trusted them even when he knew they didn't trust him. "Why was he drenched last night?" Don asked, knowing the answer would probably make him feel worse somehow.

"His car broke down about 5 miles from his place."

"It was pouring last night." Don said, unnecessarily. "Before any of this, he would've called one of us."

"Not sure it even crossed his mind to call considering the way we've been treating him." David leaned his head back, "Are we wrong for being angry?"

"I've been thinking the same thing." Don admitted. They let out collective sighs and drove the remainder of the journey in silence.

* * *

David and Don reached Colby's condo. David lifted his hand ready to knock when Don stopped him. "Wh…" Don held a finger to his lip and pointed to door, where it was slightly ajared. David clenched his jaw as he and Don pulled out their handguns.

Don slowly and quietly pushed the door open, entering with their guns raised. The living room was empty. David quickly checked the bathroom…nothing. It was a one bedroom condo, so there was only one other place to look. The door to the bedroom was opened. Don stepped in first. The sight in front of him made his stomach turn.

"Colby." Don holstered his gun, rushing over to the bed to check for a pulse.

Colby lay stretched out on the mattress with a knife protruding from right of his abdomen. His shirt was open, his wrists tied to the head of the bed with rope and his tie was wrapped around his mouth. There were over a dozen cuts all over his chest and abdomen as well as burn marks and bruises. Blood soaked into the white sheets covering the mattress.

David stood at the door of the room, frozen in place. His partner laid lifeless in his own bed. This was how they found victims of sick sons of bitches, not FBI Agents…not Colby.

The relief that washed over Don when he felt the faint pulse under his fingers almost incapacitated him. In all the years he'd worked for the FBI he had never felt so scared in his life, but he couldn't let his feelings stop him from doing what needed to be done. Colby needed help. Don pulled out his cell and dialled 911. "This is Agent Eppes. I need an ambulance at 83 Concord Ave, apartment 3B. We have an officer down." He hung up the phone. "David, get some towels from the bathroom." Don gently took Colby's head in his hands but quickly pulled away when Colby flinched. "Colby." He gasped and looked up to find David still standing frozen at the door. "David!" He called harshly, "Get the towels. I need to stop the bleeding." David jerked out of his state and nodded, rushing to get the towels from the bathroom. Don pulled out his pocketknife to saw through the ropes at Colby's wrist, which were rubbed raw and bleeding. Once one was done, he moved to the other side and did the same with the other wrist. David ran back in and wrapped the towel around the knife before putting pressure on the wound. Colby gasped at the pain but he didn't wake up.

"I'm sorry." David whispered.

Don looked at him, sadly, knowing he was apologising for a lot more than just causing Colby pain. Don cut through the tie around Colby's mouth, pulling it out. As gently as he could, Don felt around Colby's head, remembering how Colby flinched at his touch. His fingers brushed over a lump on the side of Colby's head as well as dried blood where his scalp had split open. Don couldn't keep count of Colby's injuries and these were only the ones he could see. There was no knowing what the doctors would find. Don clenched his fists. He couldn't hold back the anger any longer. There was nothing else he could do for Colby and that just added to his fury. "I will find whoever is responsible for this and he will pay." Don's voice chilled David to the bones.

Colby slowly returned to consciousness when he sensed people around him. Someone was talking to him while someone else caused more pain. They were back again. Colby opened his eyes to see a blurry face hovering above him. He wasn't going to let them torture him again without putting up a fight. "Go to hell."

Don caught the arm that swung at him, surprised at the strength behind it. "Colby, it's me, Don." He held the arm to the bed by the forearm, careful of Colby's wrist. Colby kept struggling, not listening. These men never spoke when they had their fun with him so why should he listen now that they decided to talk. "Colby!"

Colby was in too much pain to recognise the voice or the fact that this person was using his name. He was too angry at what they did to him to even register that these men weren't trying to hurt him. It didn't even register that his arms were free of their bonds or that he wasn't gagged. He just wanted to fight, to cause some pain even if he didn't have to strength to overcome them. Someone was holding him down by the arms. He couldn't do anything to him but there was someone else closer to his legs. Maybe he could kick him. He put all this strength into the kick.

The scream that tore out of Colby was like an icy blade slicing through Don and David's chest. Colby started trembling violently. "No more." He didn't care that he was begging, "No more, please." Colby looked straight into Don's eyes as he begged him to stop the pain. "Please stop." Don had to look away; he couldn't stand the fear he saw in Colby's eyes. He turned to David and saw how much Colby's pain and words were affecting him. David tried to focus on keeping pressure around the blade of the knife.

"His legs are broken." David knew what had caused Colby to scream in pain the way he did.

Don closed his eyes. Why was this happening? "Just kill me…" Don's eyes snapped open at the plea and he saw his horror at the words reflect in David's eyes. He turned back to Colby. "Please." Colby couldn't stop the hitch in his breath as the pain became too much. "I can't…" Despite knowing how much pain he would be causing, Don gathered his broken friend into his arm, pulling him up from the bed. Colby screamed out again, but Don just held him tighter in his arms. He needed Colby to know they were friends not his torturers.

"Ssshh…" Don hushed his friend as he shook in his arms. "It's okay." He spoke in Colby's ear, "It's going to be okay, Colb, I promise."

Colby struggled against the arms holding him. He was too far gone to realise he was safe. To him, this was just another form of torture: a psychological one. They wanted him to let his guard down before they started with another round. They didn't know that he had already lost all hope for a rescue because his team didn't care if he lived or died. "Just kill me." This time it wasn't a plea. His voice was devoid of any emotion. "Just do it."

"You're safe now, Colby." David spoke to him for the first time outside of a case since they found him on the freighter.

For a second, Colby's eyes locked onto David's and David thought he saw a slither of recognition in them before his eyes glazed over again. Colby looked down and saw the knife sticking out of him. He frowned at it. Try as he might, he couldn't remember when that happened. It didn't matter though, because his hands were free now. Before David could even register what was happening, Colby yanked the knife out of his side "COLBY!"

Don let go in shock as another scream tore out of Colby. Colby shoved Don away from him, pushing himself back against the bed. He held the knife out at the two men in front of him. There was still no recognition in his eyes.

"Colby." Don held his hands out, hoping to show his friend that he wasn't a threat.

David did the same, "Come on, Partner, you know we'd never hurt you." He looked down at knife wound and saw the blood running freely out of it. If they didn't put pressure on it soon, Colby would bleed out.

Colby frowned at the blurry figure that was speaking to him. He sounded like David. Colby scoffed, "You're good. You sound and talk like him but you made a couple of mistake…David wouldn't call me partner and all he's been…been doing is hurting me." David felt the air get sucked out of his lungs. Don turned to David and saw the effect Colby's words were having on him. The problem was, there was nothing he could say to contradict what Colby was saying because it was true. "You think you can play with my mind… make me think that I'm safe…" Colby smirked at them, "but they'd never come for me. Nobody is coming for me because…I'm nothing but a traitor." Sweat ran down his temple and neck as he used everything he had to keep the hand holding the knife up. "So you might as well kill me now…because there's nothing you can do to me…that's worse than them looking at me like I'm nothing…like two years meant nothing." Don rubbed away the tears that refused to stop coming. He didn't know they were causing so much pain by acting the way they did. Colby never showed how much their action affected him. He didn't know they had pushed him so far over the edge. He watched as Colby turned the knife around so that the hilt was pointed at them. His heart skipped a beat, thinking Colby was going drive the knife into himself, but instead he looked Don in the eye and then at David. "Just kill me…" The pain and the blood loss were too much for Colby's body. The knife slipped from his hand as his body started shutting down. David and Don watched in horror has Colby's head fell forward and his body slumped against the head of the bed, slowly sliding onto his side.

"Sirs?" Don turned to the voice at the door. The paramedics were standing there looking a little uncomfortable. _How long had they been there?_ By the looks on their faces…long enough.

"What are you waiting for?!" Don growled at them, angrier at himself than with them. The two paramedics wasted no time in taping a gauze pad to the knife wound and wrapping him in a blanket. They strapped him onto a backboard, careful of his broken legs before transferring him onto the gurney. "UCLA?" Don asked them. They nodded. He pulled out his contact card, "My name is on his file. Tell the doctor to do whatever they need to." The paramedic took the card and left.

Don got on the cell. "Megan, I need you and Liz here at Colby's condo. He was…" He could barely get the word out. "…tortured here. We need to process the crime scene."

* * *

Liz frowned at Megan's pale face. "What's wrong?" She asked as Megan hung up the phone.

"Colby was tortured in his own home."

Liz gasped, "What?"

Megan got over her shock and got mad! "Let's go. We're going to catch these bastards."

Liz followed, just as determine. "Damn straight we are!"

* * *

L.A.P.D cordoned off Colby's apartment as the FBI bagged and processed every bit of evidence they could find. Despite Colby's current status at the FBI, every agent gave this case their all. There may have been tension in the office after Colby's return but Colby was still one of theirs.

Don had just finished talking to Joseph at the front desk when two agents he didn't recognise walked through the front entrance of the building. "Agent Eppes?" One of them asked.

"That's me."

"Agent Jeff Warners, Counter Intelligence." Warners showed Don his I.D. "This is Agent Keith Donaldson. We've been assigned as consultants to your case."

Don narrowed his eyes at them, suspiciously, "We never asked for consultants."

"Mike Kirkland was one of ours. His and Agent Granger's work saved a lot of lives." Warners told him. "Mike and I were close, if he trusted Agent Granger with this case, he must've seen something pretty special in him." He shrugged, "Maybe I just want to do one last thing for Mike."

"How can you help?"

"I have everything Mike had on the Chinese. This is too soon after taking down Lancer for it to be a coincidence."

"You think the Chinese did this?" Don had his suspicions as well.

"Do you have a better lead?"

Don shook his head, "No, I don't." He held out his hand, "We'll take all the help we can get." Warner shook his hand. This one was personal for him as well.

* * *

Alan Eppes sat outside the O.R. waiting for Colby to come out of surgery. Don had called him, asking him to stay with Colby until he and the team could get there. He didn't want Colby to be alone, not after everything he'd revealed. Alan was happy to help. The truth was, he'd been worried about Colby. He saw Colby once after he returned to the office but that was all it took for him to see there was something wrong. Colby shook his hand and smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. His eyes were haunted. When he spoke to Don about it, his son brushed it aside, saying he just needed time. Alan knew Don and his team were still adjusting to everything that had happened. In his opinion, it should've been easy to accept Colby back because he was only doing his job but nobody saw it that way.

* * *

Charlie and Megan went through surveillance camera footage at the office. Colby's building didn't have a surveillance camera so they used traffic cameras, street cameras and shop cameras to look for anything suspicious within the area. After hours of sorting through the footage, Charlie was ready to give. "We need more information. Right now, we're just hoping we come across something minuscule."

Warner and Donaldson walked into the room with a file. "Something just came through NSA that might be of use." Warner opened the file and showed them a picture of two men at immigration. "These two men arrive in Los Angeles three days ago. NSA was being careful and sent these over after hearing about Lancer's arrest. We ran the images through our database and found a match."

Donaldson laid out two passports, "Zhang Jia Hua and Zhang Jia Yang." He told them, then pulled out another two photos, "These came from Mike's files. They're real names are Liu Fei and Liu Feng. Mike's notes on them say they used to work for Chinese Intelligence before they disappeared during a case. Long story short, they hired a car at the airport; a black Toyota RAV4."

"It can't be a coincidence that they were on Agent Kirkland's radar and now they're here at the same time Colby was tortured." Megan read through the file.

Charlie picked up the picture of the car. "I've seen this car on one of the surveillance cameras." He brought up the footage from the camera inside the 7Eleven near Colby's apartment. He fast-forwarded the footage and then paused it. There on the screen was the car with the same registration number stopped at a red light outside the store.

"That's the one." Megan was relieved they finally caught a break. "Good catch, Charlie. Let's see if we can find it on any other cameras."

Don came into the room, "The DNA on the hair we found tells us that at least one of the guys were of Asian descent." He frowned at the images Charlie and Megan were running through their laptops. "What do we have?"

Warner picked up the picture of the RAV4, "We're tracking this car. It was hired by the brothers in Mike's file."

Don nodded, "This is good. We need more people on this." Half an hour later, the briefing room was filled with eight analyst or agents with eight laptops. A map of Los Angeles was taped onto the whiteboard and marked every time the car was spotted on a camera.

Megan looked up at the map and down at the file she was reading. "I think I have something." Everyone stopped what he or she was doing. She got up and walked in front of the board. "Lancer frequented a grocery store in Chinatown." The place was in the middle of a lot of marked spots on the map.

"Best lead we've had all day." Don looked around the room, knowing every agent in here wanted to be there when they caught these men. "This might end up being a dead-end." Don warned them all. Everyone nodded. They all knew it. "Then let's go!"

* * *

Charlie headed to the hospital. Taking down the bad guys was the FBI's job. His job now was to relieve his dad. He found his dad sitting with Colby in a private room. "How is he?" Charlie asked, startling his father. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Colby was pale behind the oxygen mask. An IV was attached to the back of his left hand.

Alan waved away the apology. "Doctor said he lost a lot of blood. He's got three broken ribs. They've stitched some of the deeper cuts and the knife wound didn't hit anything vital, so he was lucky there. There were second degree burns all over his chest." Alan took a breath, "Both his kneecaps were broken. One needs surgery but they want to wait until the swelling goes down first." Charlie shook his head at the extensive list of injuries. He frowned at the bandage wrists. "Oh right," Alan noticed where Charlie was looking, "Rope burns and his right wrist is sprained."

"They tortured him in his own home, dad." Charlie whispered. "How is he going to get through this?"

Alan wrapped an arm around his youngest, "With our help, Charlie." He said simply.

* * *

It was getting to 8pm when the team arrived at the grocery store they now knew was a front for Chinese safehouse. Megan and David went around the back with Donaldson and two other agents. Don entered from the front with Liz, Warner and another agent. The store was closed. Liz knelt down and picked the padlock to the roller door. Warner and Liz knelt down ready to lift the door. Don nodded at them, his MP4 ready. The door rattled loudly on the way up and Don lead them in until they met up with David's team. So far they've found nothing, but they had an idea of what they were looking for; a hidden door of some kind. Don shone his light behind one of the shelves. "Over here." He held the torch in his mouth and moved the shelf out of the way with David and Donaldson's assistance. It was a sliding door. Warner and Donaldson raised their guns, waiting for Don to open the door. Don pulled the door open and was immediately greeted with bullets. Everyone took cover. Don and Warner shot aimlessly through the door while staying behind cover. They heard a cry and the gunfire stopped. Don nodded to Warner, they entered, shining the torches in the general direction of the screaming. It was one of the brothers, kneeling over the other. "Ta si le! Wo di di si le!" _He's dead! My little brother is dead!_

"Liu Fei or Liu Feng, whichever one you are, you're under arrest!" Don had no sympathy for this man. He cuffed the man's hands behind his back and pulled him to his feet. Don nodded at Warner, "You'll shut this place down?"

"This one and any other one we find connected to it." Warner promised.

"Thank you for your help." Don handed the man to David and shook Warner's hand. "We couldn't have found them so quickly without your help."

"It was our pleasure." Warner told him, "I hope Agent Granger makes a full recovery."

Don smiled sadly, "It's not his physical injuries I'm worried about." Warner nodded, knowing what psychological trauma torture could have on a victim. He didn't know Don was referring to the trauma they had inflicted on Colby.

"Good luck."

As they walked out of the store Don glared at the brother who was still screaming and struggling. "There would be no witnesses if he takes a few stumbles or bumps on the ride back." Don advised Warner and Donaldson, who chuckled at the implication.

"We will take your words under advisement, Agent Eppes."

* * *

The entire team went to the hospital after they processed everything. It was getting close to midnight by then, way past visiting hours but they didn't care. They needed to see that Colby was still with them.

Don smiled at his brother sleeping in the plastic hospital chair next to Colby. Out of all of them, Charlie had the most faith in Colby during the five weeks they believed Colby was a traitor. Even when Don didn't know why he felt something was odd about Colby's confession, Charlie was the one to trust Don's instincts. Charlie, who was not officially a part of his team, trusted him more than a team who had watched Colby's back, and him theirs, for two years. It was wrong and everyone knew it. Don placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder, trying to not startle him. Charlie opened his eyes at the touch and looked up. "Hey."

"Hey, did you get them?"

"Yeah, we got them." Don looked around the room at his team, whose sole focus was on the man in the bed. This was the first time Megan and Liz saw Colby since last night. Even in his sleep Colby didn't look to be at rest. His brow creased as if still feeling the pain. "What did the doctor say?"

"He'll need surgery on one of his knees. They've given him a blood transfusion. There's nothing life threatening about any of the injuries." Charlie reported but Don could read between the lines. Colby would survive but that was different to living. For someone who loved life they way Colby did, just existing wasn't life.

"Thanks for staying with him. You go home. We'll take over." Don gave his brother's shoulder a pat as he got up to leave.

The team sat around the room, making themselves as comfortable as possible in the private room. Nobody was moving from Colby's side…never again.

* * *

 **The next morning…**

The morning rays shone through the gap in the curtain, creeping its way up until it reached Colby's eyes, interrupting his restless sleep. He groaned, lifting his right hand to shield his eyes from the bright light. He squinted until his eyes adjusted to the light before lowering his hand to assess where he was. _Hospital?_ It was confusing to find himself here. _Why am I here?_ Colby closed his eyes, trying to remember what he did to land himself in the hospital again. Deciding that keeping his eyes closed wouldn't help him work it out, he opened them and looked around again. The entire team was sleeping around the room; every one of them. That confused him more. Something bad must have happened to warrant them being here and even then, he still didn't understand why they would bother with him. He died on the freighter but still woke up in the hospital alone, what could be worse than death? Colby sighed when the confusion made his head pound. He reached up and felt the stitches above his temple. He gasped when a crowbar coming at his head flashed in his mind, followed by a flood of images from last night; two Chinese men, being tied to his bed, being gagged, the crowbar smashing down on his knees, slashes of a knife, lit matches being dropped his chest and stomach, screaming in his mind for his team…giving up…

"Colby!" Don and David, who was at Colby's bedside, had woken up when Colby growled at the images in his head. The heel of his hands pushed against his temples, his eyes shut tight. "Colby!"

Liz and Megan shot up in their seat on the couch. They saw David and Don trying to pull Colby out of whatever his minds-eye was conjuring up. "COLBY!"

Colby's eye snapped open at David's booming voice. He looked around breathlessly, a sheen of sweat covered his skin. His team looked at him with concern…no…with sympathy. They felt sorry for him. That was all it was. He didn't want them here just because they felt bad for him. "Don't you have a job to do?" Colby asked, his voice was cold.

Don pulled back at his tone. He wasn't expecting Colby to be grateful but he wasn't expecting him to be cold either. Angry, maybe, but not cold. "Director gave us a few hours off after he found out what you've been through."

Colby smirked, "I must look pretty pathetic if the director is feeling sorry for me."

"Colby, we don't feel sorry for you," Megan explained, "but we are sorry." She finished softly.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you feel better." Colby closed his eyes, "You can go now. Tell the director I'm fine."

"Colby…" David put a hand on Colby forearm and was shocked when Colby tugged his arm away.

"Don't!" Colby hissed at him, "Save your sympathy. I don't need it." He was trembling at the fury he could barely contain. "You can all go to hell!"

"Colby…" Don tried to explain himself but Colby wouldn't listen.

"I _trusted_ you!" It took all of Colby's will-power not to yell at his boss. "I didn't expect all of you to welcome me back with open arms. I knew I had to earn your trust again but I expected to be given a _chance!_ " He turned his anger on Megan when she tried to speak, "I'm done trying." He gave a short, mirthless laugh, "God, I'm so pathetic; wanting to come back so desperately to a team that can't stand the sight of me." He looked at each of them through hopeless lenses, "I'll do you all a favour. I resign."

Don stopped breathing at that. It wasn't how he pictured this morning to be, but then again, he didn't know what he was expecting. His team turned to him, expecting him to say something to change Colby's mind. What could he say to convince a man, who's lost all hope and trust in his friends, to trust them again? "I never wanted you to resign." It was true. Colby was an asset the FBI couldn't lose. "I know it's too late but we want you back."

"You're right…it is too late." Colby didn't want to hear excuses or apologies. He wanted these people out of his life. They only served as a reminder that trying to do the right thing only resulted in pain, physically and psychologically. "I don't want to come back. I'm done." The anger seemed to deflate with those words. "Go and don't come back. I don't want to see any of you ever again." He closed his eyes. He wouldn't open them again unless the room emptied out.

David was the first to leave. He'd just lost his best friend. He didn't allow himself to admit it but he did still consider Colby his best friend. He just needed more time to come to terms with everything. He should've known time was limited.

Don backed away. He knew he was responsible for this. He was the leader of this team. He set the example. If he'd been more forgiving, more welcoming of Colby's return, his team would've followed suit, but he was stubborn and now he was paying for it. He turned the girls around and guided them out of the room.

Colby opened his eyes after he heard the last of them left. He was alone and he was glad because being alone meant no more pain. There will be no more disappointment because there was no one to disappoint him. Being alone meant he only needed to trust himself, he only needed to answer to himself. He was done. He's betrayed and been betrayed enough in the last two years to last a lifetime. He'd given his life to this undercover assignment and to FBI. There was nothing left for him to give or for them to take. They've taken everything from him. From now on, everything he does will be for himself and no one else.

He was done.

* * *

 **Two months later…**

Colby took cautious steps at he walked out of the hospital. It was good day for him. He was off his crutches but there was still a long recovery. Dr Cortella reminded him to take it easy. He had to rest and keep his leg straight about every four hours or so. He needed to stay seated and do his knee exercises to ensure the muscles don't deteriorate. Knee injuries are complicated, he was told. It could take years to fully recover or if he was lucky, it may take only a year. One year was too long for him. He was supposed to get his life back after he finished his assignment but all it did was keep on taking.

Colby hailed a taxi and headed back to the motel. He'd been staying there since that night. He couldn't bring himself to go back home. It wasn't home anymore. It was just a place that reminded him of everything he'd loss, of pain…of fear. He'd tried to go home that first night but he froze when he turned the doorknob. His hands shook, he broke into a cold sweat and his heart pounded hard in his chest. He'd never felt this way since the first time he'd come across an IED in Afghanistan. Colby couldn't bring himself to walk in that night. He told himself there was nothing left for him there anyway. The FBI had raided his condo and took away all his personal belongings. His possessions from his office were returned but not his home. He'd called Quantico for it to be returned but was told that they weren't authorised to release it. They needed a call from his supervising officer. That was Don. He was waiting for things to get better between them before asking but it never did and it never will.

* * *

Don hung up the phone with Colby's doctor and opened his draw, pulling out an envelope. It was Colby's resignation letter. It came in by courier two days after Colby was released from the hospital. Don refused to file it. As far as the Bureau was concerned, Colby was on medical leave. It wasn't a complete lie. If Colby hadn't resigned, he would still be on leave so Don had no problem with not handing in the letter. He did, however, have to keep Colby's job alive which meant monthly reports from Colby's doctor. It was fortunate that Colby still had him and David's name on his medical file as confidantes. They were privy to his condition. Don got updated about Colby's progress each time Colby visited the hospital. He knew he couldn't keep this up for much longer. Colby should've been asked to return to desk duty by now but Don spoke to his psychiatrist, Dr Bradford, about Colby's state of mind. The Doctor had no problem writing a recommendation that Colby not be returned to work until he was mentally fit. It was another lie that couldn't be kept up because Colby was expected to visit Dr Bradford weekly. He was due for the meeting in three days. Don sighed, slipping the envelope back into his draw. He needed to talk to Colby but he couldn't contact the man. He had cut his cell phone service and never returned home to his condo.

* * *

Colby bolted up in his bed in a cold sweat. It was the nightmares again. He thought they'd stopped but maybe it was only giving him a short reprieve because his body and mind complained of his lack of sleep. Or maybe this was a sign, telling him to stop being a coward and face his fears.

Colby got out of bed and strapped on his knee braces before getting into a loose pair of grey sweatpants and a dark grey t-shirt. He wasn't too far from his condo, but walking that distance was bad for his knees. He was usually stubborn when it came to his recovery period, pushing his limits and defying doctor's orders, but it was different back then. Back then the team was always there to stop him when he was pushing himself too hard but they weren't here now. He couldn't rely on them, which meant he had to be smarter about his own health. _No one to depend on anymore, Granger,_ he reminded himself.

* * *

Colby got out of the cab and looked up to the third floor of the building. He took a deep breath before stepping through the front entrance. The look of sheer surprise on Joseph's face told him the man thought he'd never see him again. "Colby!"

Colby gave him a smile, a genuine one. Joseph was a good guy who took his job seriously. He knew the man would take care of things while he was away. He felt bad for not coming back sooner. "How have you been, Joseph?"

"Good. It's good to see you, Colby. I've been worried about you. I didn't think I would see you again after…well, you know." Joseph worried when Colby stiffened. "I'm sorry."

Colby forced himself to relax, "It's okay. Don't worry about it. I just came back to…get some things. I shouldn't be long."

"It's your home, you can stay as long as you want."

Colby gave him a small smile. It hasn't been his home in a long time now. "Thanks, Joseph." He said instead.

* * *

Colby stood with his hand on the doorknob for ten minutes. His grip on it was so tight his knuckles went white. Why was this so hard? It's just a room. What happened here was in the past. It wasn't supposed to be able to hurt him any more, so why was he shaking again. The fear he felt made him angry so he focused on the anger instead. He glared at the door as if trying to see through it. Finally, the anger outweighed the fear and he threw the door open. He stepped through the door and slammed it shut. Suddenly everything he'd felt since returning to this empty apartment flooded him and he lost control.

* * *

Don couldn't sleep. He was flipping through the channels on his TV aimlessly when his cell phone rang. He prayed it wasn't another case. It was an unknown number. "Eppes."

"Agent Eppes? This is Joseph."

"Joseph?" Don didn't make the connection.

"You gave me your card in case Colby returned."

Don shot up at that, remembering who Joseph was. "Colby came back."

"Yes, but it's not good. The neighbours are complaining about the noise coming from his condo. It sounded like he's trying to tear the place apart."

"Ah crap!" Don ran up to his room to get changed, "I'll be right over. Call me if he tries to leave."

Don quickly dialled David, "David," He didn't even bother to wait from David to say anything, "Get to Colby's. He's there and it's not good."

* * *

Colby had destroyed every bit of furniture in the condo, leaving only the bed. The bloodstains were still there. It soaked through mattress. There was only one way to destroy this piece of furniture. It was the last thing that reminded him of his torture.

Colby limped his way to his refrigerator to get a bottle of beer. His knees were aching and it was getting hot. He didn't think anything of it, after all, he did just have a workout and the state of his condo proved it. It wasn't a workout on the doctor's approved list of activities though. Colby didn't care. This was what he needed to stop the nightmares. Colby made his way back to the bed and poured beer over the bloodstain. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a box of matches. He stared at the fire after striking the match. He could still feel the flame as the match landed on his chest and burned it's way through the wood. He felt every match they struck and dropped. Colby gasped, when the flame reached his fingers. It dropped onto the mattress and lit it up with a whoof. Colby stood there and watched the bed burn.

* * *

Don and David stood at the door with the key in their hands. It was quiet inside. The last time they were here, they opened the door to their worse nightmare, they didn't know that this time they would be opening the door to Colby's. David unlocked the door and pushed it open. They stood there frowning at the flickering light coming from Colby bedroom. "What the hell?" Don rushed in and immediately felt the heat of the fire. He grabbed the fire extinguisher from the kitchen while David ran in and pulled Colby out of the room.

"What?" Colby turned when someone grabbed his arm. "What the hell are you doing here?" He tried to pull his arm back but David wrapped his arms around him and dragged him out of the room. Colby's eyes widened when Don pushed past them with the fire extinguisher. "No! It has to burn!"

"It is burned, Colby!" David grunted, "If it burns any more it's going to take down the apartment!"

Colby struggled against the arms around him. "Get off me! This has nothing to do you. I want nothing to do with you!"

Colby kicked and screamed but David wouldn't release his hold. "Why are you doing this to me?!"

"You're going to re-injure your knee if you keep this up." David was begging him to stop.

"That's my problem, not yours!"

As soon as Don was satisfied the fire was completely out, he dropped the extinguisher and rushed out to help David. "Colby, were you trying to burn down the building?!" Don yelled at him. He knew Colby was having a hard time but he never thought he'd put anyone else's life in danger. "You could've got others killed."

Colby stopped his struggles, much to David's relief, but the tension was still there. "I would've put it out."

"Really? Because it didn't look like that to me." Don challenged him.

Colby glared at him, "I don't need you to believe me, Agent Eppes! You want to arrest me for arson? Go ahead."

Don sighed in defeat and frustration, "I'm not going to arrest you, Colby. I'm just worried about you."

"Save you concern for someone else." Colby re-ignited his struggles. "Get the hell of me, Sinclair!" David had his arms pinned, but his legs were free. Colby kicked back, hoping to cause enough pain to loosen David's hold on him but pain shot through his knee instead. "AAAHHH!"

"Colby!" Don watched as Colby's right leg gave out, his left leg tried to support his weight, but it had enough abuse for one night. "David, let him down." David lowered himself to the ground, but he didn't loosen his hold. Don gently took Colby's right leg in his hands, keeping it straight as David lowered him to the floor. "Alright, take it easy, Colb." He pushed up Colby's sweatpants, revealing his knee brace. Colby took deep breaths, trying to take control of the pain. Don unstrapped the brace and winced at the swelling there. "I'll get some ice."

David frowned at the heat coming off his friend. Deciding that Colby wasn't in any condition to fight him, David unwrapped one arm to feel Colby's brow. It was damp from the sweat but worse yet, it was burning. "Don, he's running a fever."

"Great." Don returned with the ice wrapped in a dishcloth. "This should help the swelling."

Colby flinched at the cold before relaxing as the pain dulled. He opened his eyes, glaring at Don, blearily. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because you're my friend." Don answered simply. "And friends don't give up on each other."

"News flash, Don, you gave up on me a long time ago." Colby pushed himself off David, not wanting his support for anything. If he had the strength, he would've got up to leave. David moved to his side. He kept close but made sure he wasn't crowding Colby. He didn't want him to feel the need to bolt.

"We never gave up on you." Don told him, "We never would've come after you on that freighter, we never would've come here to find, we wouldn't be here right now, if we gave up on you."

Colby smirked, not buying any of it. "You came after me on that freighter to prove yourself right. You came here looking for me because I didn't turn up for work and you're here now because you feel guilty for giving up on me!"

"Colby, that's not true." David tried to defend his boss and friend. "Don was the only one who felt there was something wrong with your confession. I admit, I gave up on you but Don never did."

Colby shook his head at Don, "You came for me but don't trust me. All that talk about trust within the team, but it doesn't go both ways for you. You expect us to trust you, but you don't return it!"

Don didn't know what he could say to repair the damage that's been done. "How can I prove to you that that's not true?"

"Well that's the problem, isn't it? There nothing you can say or do to make me trust you again." Colby pushed himself back from Don and David. He knew his knees wouldn't support his weight still but he needed to put distance between him and these two men. "I trusted you when I asked you if I could stay on the team. I trusted you to make the right decision. If you couldn't trust me, you shouldn't have accepted me back. If you had let me go to D.C, I wouldn't have been here for those men to tie me up and have their fun! Do you know how it feels to be helpless as two psychos did whatever they wanted with you? They didn't say a word and they didn't let me say a word." Colby started trembling. His voice shook as he spoke. "There was nothing I could do to stop the pain. I tried to scream out for you, for any of you, but none of you came. I never should've come back. I'm never going to trust you again." A tear rolled down Colby's stoic face, " _I'm never going to trust anyone again._ "

It finally dawned on Don what was happening here. Colby was protecting himself from getting hurt. To Colby, what Don did was the ultimate betrayal. He had given Colby hope that he would be accepted again, only to show him that the team may never truly accept him, they would never trust him. Too much pain came with that betrayal, he wasn't letting anyone in again because he couldn't risk feeling like that again. He wasn't going to make himself vulnerable to that kind of betrayal again. "I'm sorry. You're a really good agent, Colby and I didn't want to lose you. You're right. I was wrong to accept you back when I knew we weren't ready to forgive what you did."

"But there was nothing to forgive because you did nothing wrong." David added, "I know that now."

Colby shook his head, "It's too late."

"Just because you won't believe us, doesn't mean we're not going to spend every minute of everyday, trying to prove to you that we can be trusted." Don promised.

"What makes you think I'll give you that chance when you never gave me the same courtesy?" Colby spat at him.

"Because you're a better man than us, Colby. All this anger and hatred right now? _It isn't you!_ " Don was desperate for Colby to believe him. "Please don't let my mistake ruin your life. You're always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. Give us one more chance, not for us but for you. You don't deserve to be alone, which is what's going to happen if you refuse to trust again."

Colby wasn't going to let Don talk his way back in. He couldn't. "What people deserve and what they get, are very different. I'm proof of that." Colby pushed himself back a little more and sighed when his back hit the kitchen counter. He slumped against it; too tired to hold himself up any longer. "You know, when they ask you to go undercover, they warn you that you might be tempted into that life, that you could turn your back on the department and everything it taught us. Do you know what they don't tell you?" Colby looked at Don, "That the department could just as easily turn their backs on you. The FBI took everything in this place. I came back to an empty life. So don't tell me that I don't deserve to be alone because that's all I've been since I got back. You know that, you just chose to ignore it."

Don rubbed his eyes, tired and devoid of any more words that could convince Colby to come back to them. How could he let it go so horribly wrong? He turned to David, Colby's best friend, and begged him to say something that might change Colby's mind.

David looked into the bedroom. That was why Colby was so angry. The torture drove him over the edge. If it weren't for that, Colby would still be fighting to get his life back with his team and at the Bureau. David knew that for a fact. "Colby, if the Chinese hadn't come back to get their revenge on you, what do you think you would be doing right now?"

Colby scoffed, "I don't think about hypotheticals, it does absolutely nothing."

David nodded, smiling sadly. Any other time, if he'd heard Colby say that, he'd applaud Colby for his healthy mentality. Never dwell on what could've or might've been, but this time, he needed Colby to see who was really at fault in all of this. Who were to ones who robbed Colby of his life? "Then let me tell you. If you weren't tortured in that room," He pointed at the bedroom, "you would've turned up for work the next day and the day after that. You would've given everything you had to every case. No matter how we were treating you, you would've face everyday head on because that's who you were before that night!" Colby looked up at him and for the first time in too long, there was no anger or hatred in them and it gave him a glimmer of hope. "You don't run away from your problems, Colby. You face them and each day, you would've shown every one of us what idiots we've been. You would've rebuilt the trust that was lost between us brick by brick and eventually it would've been so strong that nothing in this world could break it down." David took a deep breath, "I have no doubt that that is what would've happened because you're Colby Granger. Don't let what they did to you take that away."

Colby had tears running down his cheeks. The person David was talking about was so far gone that he could barely remember him anymore. "I'm not him anymore."

"Yes, you are. If you weren't, you would've left the day you got out of hospital." David contradicted.

"I couldn't walk when I got out of the hospital." Colby argued.

"A determined and angry Colby Granger would never have let that stop him." Don could see that David was getting through to their friend. "David's right. You don't run away from your problems, Colby. That's why you stayed in L.A and that's why you're here now."

"We trust you, Colby. Let us help you trust us again. I promise you, if you give us that chance, we won't blow it and you won't regret it." David begged Colby to believe him.

Colby felt like he was deflating. All that anger, fear and hatred seemed to be draining out of him and taking his energy along with it. He wasn't ready to forgive them for everything but David was right. If he walked away from his life now, the Chinese and Lancer will have won. "I guess you were wrong…" Colby gave him a small, crooked smile. "You do know who I am."

"I've always known. Sorry it took me so long to realise that."

"It's not going to be easy." Colby was so tired now that the anger left him. "I can't just come back as if nothing's wrong."

"We know it's going to be hard, but the good things in life are always worth the effort." Don was still worried about Colby's state of mind. He's taken a big step in the right direction but he needed help that was beyond the team's expertise. "Colby, I want you to see Dr Bradford."

Colby frowned through the fatigue, "I can't. I'm not FBI anymore."

Don grimaced at that, "Actually, you kind of are. I never filed your resignation letter."

David raised his eyebrows at Don, "How is that possible?"

Don shrugged, "He's on medical leave. Plus, upon Dr Bradford's advisement, your return to the FBI has been postponed until he can have a session with you." Colby wasn't sure he understood what Don was telling him. He was too tired to work out that Don had been using office bureaucracy to keep his job. "I've booked you in for Friday morning."

Colby frowned as he wiped at the perspiration across his brow. "What?" His mind was fuzzy now.

Don and David moved to his side when they saw how disoriented Colby was. "Are you okay?" David put a hand on his shoulder while Don pressed the back of his fingers against his forehead.

"He's burning up."

"Hospital?"

Don nodded, "He should get his knee x-rayed as well." He lifted the wet dishcloth. Colby's hot skin had melted the ice faster than usual. "Swellings down at least."

Colby closed his eyes. He could hear them talking about taking him to the hospital and as much as he hated the place, he had no energy to protest. He felt himself slide sideways but he didn't try to stop the fall because he knew David or Don would catch him. He felt someone wrap their arm behind him and leaned him against their chest. His head rested comfortable against the person's shoulder. Colby let this all happen because he knew he could trust the two men to take care of him. The realisation made him gasp and open his eyes.

"Hey." Don was in front of him, concerned. "It's okay. We'll take care of you." His concern grew when Colby didn't speak and just stared at him. "What's wrong, Colb?"

It wasn't supposed to be so easy to trust these men again. After everything that has happened, he wasn't supposed to leave himself so vulnerable again. What was it about these people that made him trust them so easily when it was so hard for them to trust him? "Why do I believe you?"

"What?" Don asked confused. He could tell by David's expression that he was just as confused.

"It's not good for me to trust you so easily. You're supposed to earn it."

Don smiled sadly, "Don't confuse trusting us to do the right thing, with trusting us unconditionally. You're sick and injured and we're taking you to the hospital. It's what we'd do for anyone." It hurt to know that Colby was so scared to trust them again. "We're FBI, Colby. You know we'd do the right thing."

David felt Colby relax against him again; relieved he wasn't leaving himself vulnerable so soon. David pulled Colby's arm over his shoulder. "Come on, let's get you some help."

* * *

Dr Cortella kept Colby in the hospital until his fever ran its course. He gave Colby a sedative to help him sleep and started an IV to fight dehydration caused by the fever. The doctor couldn't tell them what was causing the fever but he deduced it had to do with exhaustion and his injury. The tissues around the knee injury were inflamed. He added a dose of anti-inflammatory medicine in Colby's IV. Rest was the best medicine for Colby but one night's stay in the hospital would ensure the damage done to his body during the stressful and emotional night would be reversed.

Colby woke up the next morning to find Don's father sitting in a chair reading a chess magazine. Alan looked up when he heard Colby shift in the bed. "Good morning."

Colby frowned at him, confused, but he was polite enough to return the greeting. "Good morning."

"Don and the team couldn't get any more time off to visit you so he asked me to take you home as soon as you're up to it." Alan explained.

Colby nodded uncomfortably, "Okay."

Alan smiled at the short submission. "Your fever broke a few hours ago and the doctor says your knee hasn't sustained any more damage. He's already signed the discharge paper so we can leave when you're ready."

Colby looked down at his hands, fiddling with his blanket. "You don't have to do this. I can get home myself."

"You can but you don't have to." Alan said, wisely.

"I'm not back on the team. I'm not even sure if I want to go back. You don't have to…"

"Colby Granger, look at me!" Colby's head snapped up at Alan's order. "To me, you're not just my son's teammate. For two years, you've watched my son's back. That makes you a part of the family. Nothing changes that. You're coming home with me today and that's all I'm going to say about it. Got it?"

Colby smiled gratefully at Alan. At least he hasn't changed. "Yes, sir."

Alan nodded, "Good. Now get changed so we can get out of here. I hate hospitals." Colby chuckled at the words that usually came out of his own mouth.

* * *

Colby felt uneasy again as Alan pulled up to Charlie's house. It didn't feel right to be here, not after everything that's happened between him and Don. He felt like an intruder. "Let's go!"

Colby took a breath and nodded, "Okay."

"What's the matter? You act like you've never been here before." Alan waited next to the car as Colby got out, keeping close in case Colby needed help.

"I'm okay, Mr Eppes. I won't keel over." Colby smiled at his hovering. "I'm actually okay to stay at my own place. It's not like I can't walk at all."

Alan sighed and just told him outright the reason why he was here. "Don and the team can't do their job when they're worried about you. They'll feel better knowing you're here with someone watching over you."

Colby ducked his head, smiling as he took each step. It hurt his knees but Alan's words warmed him. "They worry too much."

"They always have. They've been worrying about you for two months now. I don't know about the rest of the team but Don was going crazy not knowing where you were."

Colby chuckled, "You don't have to convince me that they care, Mr Eppes. I already know."

"Good because they do." Alan led him over to the couch. "I would give you Don's room but it's upstairs and…"

"Not good for my knees. I know." Colby sat down on the couch. "I'm not going to be here for long so the couch is fine."

"You'll stay here until your fevers stop returning." Colby told the doctor after he woke up that he'd been having fevers on and off for about three weeks now. They always went away so he never told anyone. Last night's one was the worse it ever got. It wasn't dangerous but Dr Cortella didn't want to take any chances. "You're not on your own anymore so you need to tell me if you feel off."

Colby sighed, "The fevers go away with Tylenol. I don't think it's anything to worry about."

"You're staying here until the doctor clears you." Alan spoke very slowly so that Colby heard every word.

"Yes, sir." Colby laughed.

* * *

Don entered the house quietly. He had called his dad before leaving the office and was told Colby was sleeping. The man tired easily and the fevers didn't help. Don made his way over to his friend and saw the flushed cheeks. "It started not long ago." Don turned to find his dad standing in the doorway. "He's already taken Tylenol."

Don nodded, "Thanks for taking care of him."

Alan shrugged, "Taking care of his health is easy. You're the one with the hard job." He was referring to Colby's trust issues and psychological pain. "But he's here, which proves he's willing to accept your help."

"I'm going to sit here and watch him for a little bit. Why don't you go to sleep? I'm sure you're tired." Alan nodded leaving his son to watch over their friend. Don pulled off his tie and sat down in the armchair next to the lounge. He leaned his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. It's been a long day of meetings with the bureaucrats in the office. It was that time of the year where teams lobbied for more manpower or funding. Don didn't need to be there. He had all the manpower he needed as long as Colby returned. He did, however, had to dodge questions on when Colby would be returning. Dr Cortella saved him by faxing over Colby's most recent report but he knew the boss wanted a more concrete answer.

Colby's fever didn't give him the rest he needed. He opened his eyes and was surprised to find Don sitting next to him, looking like he was sporting a headache. "Are you okay?"

Don started at the voice. "Hey." He smiled and sat forward when he saw that Colby was awake. "I should be asking you that question."

Colby pushed himself up, pulling his legs over the side. "I've been better. And so have you."

Don shook his head, "Just bureaucrats giving me a headache."

Colby smiled crookedly, "That time of the year, huh?"

"Yeah, but you don't need hear about it. You should go to sleep."

"Can I get some water first?"

"Of course." He got up and came back with a pitcher and a glass.

Colby sighed in relief at the cold water. He rested the glass against his flushed cheek and closed his eyes. Don was worried. If it wasn't for the doctor telling him to expect this, he would've sent Colby straight back to the hospital. "I'm fine, Don." Colby didn't need to open his eyes to know that Don was concerned for him. "It usually passes after an hour or so."

Don sighed. The comment only made him feel guilty that Colby had gone through weeks of this alone. "I pushed your meeting with Dr Bradford back another week. He said he wanted you to heal physically before your session."

"Thanks." Colby gave him a small smile. "The bureaucrats are giving you hell because of me, aren't they?" He grinned when Don looked confused at how he knew. "I've seen you come back from those meetings before. We've closed more cases than any other team in the building. Nobody would be giving you hell. The only thing that's changed is me."

Don stopped listening after Colby referred to the team as 'we'. " _We_ have closed a lot of cases." Colby ducked his head. He didn't realise he had let that slip. "Don't worry about it. Dr Cortella bought me a little more time."

Colby had been thinking about this all day. He said he'd give the team another chance but he couldn't do that if he wasn't in the office working with them. And now that he knew his time away was causing trouble for Don, it pushed him to do what he needed to do. "I can return to modified duty."

Don raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you sure you're ready for that? It was only yesterday you tried to burn down your apartment." He grinned at the glare Colby sent him.

"It was the bed." Colby chuckled, knowing Don said that deliberately to lighten the mood. "It's just desk duty. I can handle it."

"You know that's not what I'm worried about." Don wasn't sure Colby could handle the emotional stress that would come with returning to the team so soon after he broke down.

"If I feel stressed in anyway, I'll tell you. I'm going to need to go back there at some point. Besides, I've already spoken to you and David." Colby shrugged, "That was the hardest part."

Don nodded, proud that Colby was able to speak so candidly about it. "Okay, but only after you kick these fevers."

Colby nodded, "Okay."

* * *

 **Two weeks later...**

Colby stood at the door of his condo. He thought he had already faced his fears but feelings that were threatening to suffocate him. David gave his shoulder a squeeze. "It'll be okay." He reassured his partner.

"I wish I was as confident as you."

"Come on." David nodded at the key in Colby's hand.

Colby sighed, "Fine." He inserted the key and turned the knob. The door swung open and instead of the emptied mess he was expecting, the team was standing in a room furnished with new furniture and all his personal possessions. He stepped in in awe of what the team had done for him. "When did you get it all back?" He picked up the photo of his father and him after a fishing trip.

"It came in a week ago." Don told him, "We all pitched it to clean the place up and got you new furniture."

Colby turned to his bedroom. David gave him a little push towards it. "You've already burned the bed. What could be so scary in there?" Colby took a deep breath before stepping into the room. The entire room was re-decorated. Colby didn't even recognise it. It was brand new save for the pictures he kept of Dwayne and his team in the army and the photo of Don and the team. There was no feeling of dread or fear. It was the start of a new part of his life. "Thanks, guys."

* * *

 **Six months later…**

David cursed as the suspect they were looking for ran out the back door. He threw Colby the keys to the car. "Drive the car around back." He called back to his partner. Colby frowned at the keys and ignored David's orders. He ran after David and saw him turn a corner. He ran straight ahead. If he cut through one of the shops he could cut the perp off. Colby ran through the back door that was opened. It was he kitchen of a restaurant. "FBI." He called before anyone could panic. "Sorry for the intrusion." He ran through the restaurant and out the front door just in time to slam the suspect to the ground. Colby rolled the man onto his front and cuffed his hands behind his back.

David slowed down, puffing as he reached Colby. He glared at his partner. "What part of 'drive the car around' didn't you understand?"

"By the time I did that, this guy would've got away." Colby was about to drag the man to his feet when David stopped him.

"I've got him." David took a good look at Colby's expression as he pulled the man up. "How are the knees?"

Colby couldn't help the tug of the corner of his mouth at David's concern. "My knee's fine. I've been running 3 miles a day for the past two weeks." He slapped the perp over the head. "I really don't like it when suspects make me run though."

"Don't push yourself. You've just been cleared for full duty." David warned.

"David, stop worrying. I know my limits."

"I'm not worried." David argued, "Just want to make sure I don't have to find a new partner for good. I've trained you exactly the way I need you to be."

Colby scoffed, "Taking credit for Quantico now, are we?"

David grinned as they walked back to the car with the suspect. It felt good to have Colby back.

* * *

Don smiled as he watched David and Colby interrogate the suspect. Megan walked into the observation room and smiled at what Don was smiling at. "You know, they've been doing this for months now and you're still watching them."

Don grinned, "This is the first time they've brought the suspect in together. I've been wondering for a while now, when I'll be getting my whole team back again." Don pointed a finger down, "Today's the day!"

"Colby's been back for months, Don." Megan pointed out.

"Not completely. He's been stuck at a desk for most of that time and then he was restricted to certain field work." Don sighed contently, folding his arms and watching the man in the interrogation room give David and Colby everything they needed. "Today, there are no limits for him." He frowned when he noticed Colby rubbing his right knee under the table. "Almost no limits."

"What's wrong?" Megan asked him, seeing his change in demeanour.

"Nothing." Don left the room and stood outside the interrogation room door, waiting for his agents to come out. Don's behaviour confused Megan but she just shrugged and went back to her desk.

"Get a confession?" David jumped at seeing Don at the door when he opened it.

"Jeez, Don, you scared a couple of years of my life." David complained. "And yes, we got a confession." He grinned, proudly, walking back to his desk.

"Good." Don walked next to Colby. "Tell me the truth," he spoke quietly so that others in the office couldn't hear him, "How's your knee?"

Colby chuckled, shaking his head. He wondered how many times he would be asked that question today. "It's aching a little." He answered honestly.

"Anything to be worried about?"

Colby shook his head, "No. It's normal. It'll fade."

Don nodded, trusting Colby to speak honestly, "Okay. Good work today."

"Thanks." Colby grabbed the case file from his table. "I'll have the 302 for you in the morning. I have one last session with Dr Bradford."

"Sure." Don shook his hand.

"I'll see you in the morning." Colby gave David a pat on the shoulder and waved at Megan.

"Hey, Colb!" Don called out. Colby turned around. "Welcome back."

Colby ducked his head, grinning. He'd been back for six months now but he knew what Don meant. He looked back up and saw his team smiling at him. "Thanks. It's good to be back."

They watch Colby leave. Nobody really knew if Colby trusted them the way he used to. They never really talked about it. It was as if they were starting over again. They were rebuilding their trust.

* * *

Dr Bradford sat opposite Colby on his white couches. "I have one very important question I need you to answer today." Colby nodded. Dr Bradford's sessions were intense but he always left feeling lighter. "Do you trust Don and team now?" Colby felt his heart skip a little at the question. He never expected the question to be asked outright and he wasn't sure there was a straightforward answer to it. Colby rubbed his hands together, nervously. "There's no right or wrong answer here, Colby. There never was. Just tell me; yes or no."

Colby frowned, "It's not a yes or no question, doc. Yes, I trust David and the rest of them with my life. I know when I go out there that they have my back. It's what we do as FBI Agents, but I trusted them the same way before they heard my name on the Janus list." Colby shrugged, "In our line of work, trusting the team with your life is a part of the job. They would never, intentionally, put my life in danger." He smiled sadly, "I don't think I ever doubted that even when I was at my lowest."

"But?" Dr Bradford pushed. He didn't want Colby to think too much. He just wanted him to say exactly what was on his mind.

"I think it's more a question of faith. When those guys tortured me, I begged for David or Don to come find me. I had hoped but I didn't believe they would. At that point, I didn't have faith in them." Colby frowned. He may need another session if this was how he was going to feel when he walked out of here.

"Let's be fair, Colby." Colby nodded, knowing Dr Bradford was a very reasonable man. "They didn't know you were being tortured." Colby agreed. "Would they have come for you if they had known?"

"Of course they would, but that's trust, not faith." Colby told him. He didn't realise until now that trust wasn't the issue. "If we knew a stranger was being tortured, we would take action. It's our job. It's whether or not I believe they would come for me, despite the odds."

"How about now? If you were being tortured now, would you have faith in them?"

"It's not a question you can ask hypothetically, doc?" Colby shrugged, "I'll never know unless I'm put in that situation again."

"Are you okay with not knowing?" Dr Bradford asked.

Colby smiled as he thought about today. It was a good day. The team had his back in the field and back at the office. Even if this was as good as it got for him, it was enough. "Yeah, Doc, I am."

Dr Bradford nodded, proud at how far this man had come since their first session. "I sincerely hope that your faith in your team is never tested again but _I_ have faith that you're are strong enough to pass that test with flying colours."

Colby shook Dr Bradford's hand, "Thanks, Doc."

Colby walked out of the room and looked at his watch. It was still early. He dialled David's number. "Hey, David. Do you want to go out for drinks? I feel like celebrating."

 **The End.**


End file.
